What do I do it all for?

Today has got me thinking, what do I do it all for? All this stuff I’m mixed up in, fingers in lots of pies…
A few years ago we decided we wanted some babies, so we did that. I planned on staying at home with them for as long as I could, I didn’t really have a career and quite honestly wasn’t particularly interested in one (I’d moved from one thing to another, all just passing time). I was one of those people who did pretty well at school, then it all went a bit pear shaped at college, where I spent a lot of time hiding from the sense of overwhelm 4 very reading heavy subjects brought on. Smoking and the beach seemed like the right way to deal with it at the time, looking back perhaps it wasn’t the best solution.
Then, one day, I found myself with 2 beautiful little girls who filled up so much of my life and heart…

2 hour old Eula.
Tiny little camping Nancy.

…but, what I thought would be enough for me, wasn’t. I craved a creativity and connection outside of my immediate, allconsuming family, to be with like-minded people, to have an outlet to discover who I really was.

My third baby, Alice in Scandiland, was born when my youngest, Eula, was about 2, a blog to get my ideas down in one place and since then life has seriously raced by.

You can read my first ever blog post here, but I warn you, it ain’t all that!

A few years and awards later, an ever increasing following, I now find myself hosting workshops at my home, passing on some of the knowledge I have gathered over the years, connecting with other creative people, all whom are linked through their passion for creating something for themselves.

The dolls house I decorated for Nancy’s birthday a few years back. More about it here.

I forever have a long list of diy jobs on the go at home and in a few weeks time I will be opening the doors to my very first real world shopand life right now is CRAZY busy. It definitely feels like I’m drowning more than I’m flourishing right this second, so many thoughts and strategies and responsibilities swishing around my mind. In theory life would have been a heck of a lot easier had I decided to just stick to the already super difficult job of being a mum, but something in me drives me forward, I can’t help but want to explore possibilities that present themselves to me. I am doing this for me, yes for my family too, but foremost right now it’s for me. I am a happier, healthier person when I fulfil something I want to do, I feel my sense of self worth grow and with it my confidence. I have been guilty of holding myself back and talking myself down, but right now I’m throwing myself into the deep end.

Today I am shattered, struggling to string a cohesive thought together in my head, very little of my big to do list has been checked off, but tomorrow I host another Instagram Creative Lunch and I know that will reignite my spark, to get me through another few days.

I can’t wait for when I can sit down in my organised, open shop and take stock of everything, but right now it’s a head down, bat out of hell race to be ready.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Gaynor says:

    You are doing my dream job! I’m a Japanese teacher ( which is fab) but would happily do what you are doing in a heart beat!! Go you!
    The reason I don’t do it is partly 3 kids, partly mortgage, but mostly COURAGE!!!!!! Oh, and being disorganised ( if I’m honest).
    I’m in Australia, but I would love to visit your shop ( put that on the list with a trip to Merchant & Mills) Good luck and keep moving ! Creating gorgeousness is such a joyful, satisfying thing. I think doing something that brings you joy ( especially when you are a Mum) is important . It will be worth it.
    I will follow your journey with huge interest as I make , gather , collect and dream here in Sydney. !!!!

    1. Thank you so much Gaynor, it’s exciting and frightening all rolled into one!

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